Contemplations
by Doublyxtwisted
Summary: I suck at titles. Canada retelling America's history. I've tried to add some Canadian history as well, but this is mostly centered on American history through Canada's eyes. And I still have no idea how to categorize my stories yet, my apologies.
1. Prologue

_Contemplations_

The first time the two personifications met, they both had midnight-spun hair and gleaming obsidian chips for eyes, nothing resembling the golden strands and gemstone eyes that would follow later. The one eventually named Alfred had been following an eagle northward, racing beneath its shadow as he tailed the creature from one place to the next when he ran into the other who would later be christened Matthew. The other had followed a polar bear down south and both were now hopelessly lost, out of familiar territory and knowing nobody in the area. They had reacted with fear at first, both drawing weapons quickly before relaxing slightly when they realized the other was another human, the one from the south made the first greeting, _"Osiyo."_ The other gave him an initially confused look, not understanding the language but soon responded with a greeting of his own, _"Kwe'."_ After eying each other for a few moments more, the northerner signaled that he had come by following a river, but had lost track of the waterway after the polar bear had strayed westward. The southerner shrugged and shook his head, just as lost as the other. They stared at each other a couple moments more before making a farewell and continuing on their own ways, it was the first and last time they would meet as Native Americans of North America. A decade later, the northerner had changed into a young boy with a name and a head of ash blonde hair framing a pale face and violet eyes. Close to a century later, the southerner had undergone similar changes, turning into a honey blonde young boy with blue eyes set in a lightly tanned face. Matthew and Alfred had officially come into the world.

**I apologize for any mistakes I might have made portraying their Native American personifications (by Native American, I mean the natives of North America); there really isn't a lot that I have to go off of. Or maybe I am a terrible researcher, but please don't hate me for it ok? T.T And they are both 23-24ish as personifications in the beginning because Native American culture has been established for a while.**

Osiyo- general greeting in Cherokee

Kwe'- greetings in Mi'kmaw

**I literally googled these so please tell me if they are wrong.**


	2. Second Encounter

The first, well technically the second, time they met was after the Seven Years' War. France had ceded almost all of its colonies to England and Arthur had just introduced the shy and still grieving boy to his other colony in North America. Blue eyes inspected the new arrival almost critically before they turned away to demand, "Why does he look almost exactly like me?" Immediately afterwards, Alfred started bugging Arthur for food and they forgot about the quiet new addition. A couple hours later, after Alfred finally remembered Matthew's existence again, he had declared in a loud voice, "Hey, Canadia! You have a hero for a brother now!" Before bursting into his signature laughter and dragging Matthew off into trouble. In the years that followed, the two grew very close, although Alfred still forgot where Matthew came from and mistakenly called him Mathias once.

Matthew quickly found out that his new "brother" was a very independent person, even for a colony, often mirroring the birds that flew in the sky with his inability to stay down for long periods of time. With him, Matthew discovered the joys of racing among trees after dark and trailing wolves and deer through the forest, in return, he taught Alfred to enjoy the snow and the thrilling excitement of sailing in rougher water. As they grew older, both found inexplicable happiness in wild horseback riding, throwing off English etiquette and lessons for the adrenaline of feeling wind whip their faces and seeing the scenery blur together into ribbons of color. Alfred drives Arthur insane though, and Matthew often hears the sharp, staccato sounds of their guardian's voice as he reprimands Alfred for grammar mistakes in speech or lapses in proper etiquette. Alfred is always uncharacteristically silent afterwards and sulks quietly in his bedroom before rejoining Matthew in some scheme or another.

They are both physically around the age of 15 when Arthur first fits them both with the blood-red uniforms of the British infantry. Alfred squirms and wriggles impatiently as his measurements are taken, pouting at Arthur when the elder tells him to stand still. In all honesty though, both can see that red does not suit Alfred and for some unknown reason, that scares Matthew. There's something he can't pinpoint in his brother that is growing, waiting and biding its time, looking for the correct time to strike and destroy. He blinks when Alfred asks him if he is doing alright and the feeling disappears as quickly as it came. That night, Alfred drags both Arthur and Matthew out of their warm house into the cool outside air, pointing toward the inky sky where there are thousands of stars glittering like diamonds. Arthur points out the important ones he uses for navigating the Atlantic Ocean and is about to teach them how to use the stars when Alfred stops him, "Teach later, Artie, I'd like to appreciate the beauty first before you change it into a tool for me to use."

Both of his companions are shocked to silence by the intelligent request, it doesn't last long though because Alfred is Alfred and soon, Arthur is being bombarded with questions about flying to stars and Matthew just lies in the grass and wishes that his brother would shut up. When Alfred does settle down into silence, Arthur almost immediately falls asleep out on the field exhausted from the questions and lack of sleep due to work. Matthew stays awake with Alfred, watching the twinkling stars and listening to his brother murmur the names Arthur had taught him. As the night gets colder though, they are forced back into the house, Matthew watches Alfred carry Arthur back in almost effortlessly; it's the first time Matthew sees exactly how tall and muscular Alfred has gotten.

…**Man, I just realized exactly how fast Alfred and Matthew grew up physically. They kind of go from toddlers to full-blown teenagers in less than 5 years…mind blown.**


	3. American War of Independence

Alfred's revolution ends everything.

The start of it all had Matthew shocked and reeling from the impact. America had always been rebellious, had always been headstrong, had always been strong willed, but not to the point of declaring war over some taxes. 'No,' Matthew reminds himself with a bitter smile, 'to America, they aren't just taxes. He thinks it symbolizes England's tyranny.' The colonists' resentment had first shown itself when Parliament passed the Royal Proclamation of 1763 then the Stamp Act in 1765; the 13 colonies, having no say in the taxes, refused to obey them.

From there, the conflict had escalated and ended with Alfred dumping boatloads of tea into the ocean in what he dubbed "The Boston Tea Party" and the skirmishes at Lexington and Concord. There were attempts at reconciliation made by the colonists, but they ultimately failed and Matthew watched his brother and his guardian's relationship spiral downward and burn.

Matthew had watched on the sidelines as his brother's inexperienced troops struggled against the trained army of a world power, he had seen the beginning of the war at Bunker Hill; watched as American colonists confirmed for themselves that British troops were not invincible then had watched them fall as battle after battle was lost.

He was almost certain that Alfred would give up eventually and submit to Arthur's desires, but then the Battle of Saratoga happened and France officially entered the war on the colonies' side. More countries declared their support to America soon afterwards and slowly, the tide of battle turned against England.

In the final battle of Yorktown in 1781, Matthew saw Arthur cry for the first time and also for the first time, saw Alfred put on a perfect poker face. From the distance he was at, Matthew couldn't pinpoint any emotion at all in the steely grey-blue eyes of his brother when Alfred moved his mouth, but he saw the shaking of Arthur's shoulders and understood that Alfred had officially ended everything between the American colonies and England.

The storm thundering and drizzling over their heads lets loose a downpour of cold bullets.

That night, as Arthur slumps in exhaustion and defeat, Matthew hears the delighted laughter of American and French troops celebrating their victory. Alfred appears but once amongst the vanquished British to distribute food to them before vanishing back into the melee of milling blue coats. After that, there is no contact at all from the blonde American; he has simply vanished into the excitement.

Francis comes in multiple times to tease Arthur, when he receives no response at all he inquires Matthew's state of health. Matthew answers the questions politely, but eventually asks Francis to please leave them be. He can't deny that a good portion of him wants to punch the Frenchman's face in for helping Alfred leave and tearing Arthur apart.

The next morning was cloudy and cold, American bands played "Yankee Doodle" at the British, taunting them subtly with the cheerful tune and laughing at them with ice-cold eyes. Matthew, hanging in the background (where he'd been forgotten again, darn it!) noticed how Arthur kept his head held high even as his dark green eyes betrayed the turmoil of emotions boiling inside of him.

Alfred and Francis stepped up to meet him as their generals did the same to the British general. Amethyst eyes followed his brother's stiff movements, noting how the war had hardened Alfred's face into lines and angles and his eyes into frozen sapphires; there is a brief discussion between the new nation and his two elders before Francis steps back and leaves the two English-speaking personifications together.

There is another short conversation before Alfred jerks away abruptly and walks back to join Francis leaving Arthur standing there alone. Matthew feels his heart clench in painful sympathy as Arthur rejoins his troops, as the personification of England, he stands erect- refusing the let the loss faze him; as Arthur Kirkland, however, he is lost, confused, hurt at the sudden betrayal of his Alfred and Matthew sees this clearly.

He, himself is feeling the exact same thing.

Feeling resentment bubbling up against his brother, Matthew turns his head away sharply when he felt Alfred glance in his direction and followed orders to board the ships just as quickly. He stands next to Arthur, watching the lines of men file onto the deck then motions for the elder to get on before him.

As he does so, Matthew notices something unusual out of the corner of his eye and turns his head. It's Alfred and Francis, standing apart from their victorious troops; but Alfred doesn't have a triumphant grin like the one he had last night; he's crying, clinging onto the Frenchman and muffling the heaving sobs against Francis' war-torn blue coat and Francis is stroking Alfred's golden hair, for once not doing anything perverted.

Matthew boards the ship, still watching as his brother quiets down and lets his clenched hands fall to his sides. He sees Francis lift Alfred's face and press a kiss to his forehead and his twin's faint smile before the ship captain yells at him to do something useful.

It isn't until years later that Matthew understands exactly what the tenderness had meant, Alfred, having just shattered and ripped apart the fabric making up his world for over a century, now had to create, weave and lead a brand-new nation. He had been seeking the last remnants of what he had destroyed before venturing out into a hostile world. In many ways, Francis was the closest thing to the comfort Alfred had experienced as a child and Alfred had clung to that for a couple of seconds, yearning to feel the safety and warmth that a guardian had always provided before, clinging onto and preserving the memory of the feeling of gentle, caring hands for one last time before finally severing everything and shouldering his country.

**I think I agree with my friends that I suck at writing sad scenes. I've looked over this one multiple times and have finally given up on trying to make it more believable.**

**And for the record, Hetalia doesn't belong to me and I claim no rights to it.**


	4. War of 1812

**I wanted to warn you that the war acts more as a background in this story than the main subject. There are no specific battles that are detailed to the last attack (unless you count the burning, but that is hardly_ detailed_).**

War of 1812

It starts with Alfred (again). Besides, what _isn't_ his fault right now? He'd left both Arthur and Matthew behind in a quest for freedom, then had turned the rest of Europe against England in order to completely achieve independence. Now, in 1812, he dares to declare war against both of them? Who does he think he is?

Arthur is incensed when Alfred, who is hardly a nation at all finds the nerve to declare war on him then promptly goes and invades Canada. This was just rubbing salt into an open wound. Before long, British troops are ordered into America (again) to subdue the rebellious former colony and teach him a lesson. Matthew, furious at the audacity of his brother's idea to invade his land and "free" the Canadian people, joins the fight as well. This, Matthew muses cynically, is almost exactly like Alfred's rebellion; the only difference this time that it is nation against nation and Arthur isn't going to hold back.

Alfred is has it hard from the start. For all his talk and victories in his revolution, America is still hardly a country and this is the second time they are fighting against a superpower (the same one actually). Matthew can feel a resentful smile tugging at his mouth, "Can you feel it now? The bitter taste of defeat swirling on the tip of your tongue?"

They meet on the battleground again and again, both sides watching blood spill and soak into the earth; both hearing the screams of people and smelling the acrid smoke of musket fire. Still, he can't help but feel a tiny twinge of pride at the bravery of the American people; it is one thing to talk of fight and dying, another entirely to walk onto a battlefield, knowing death could happen at any time and still stare at the enemy from behind a gun.

He is still very bitter towards Alfred, though, and those negative feelings reach a peak during a lull in the fighting. Matthew is waiting outside the General's tent for Arthur when he hears the drumming of hoof beats carrying returning troops. Their report does not make the British happy; Americans have taken- and looted- the town of York and adding to that, had broken the laws of war by attacking farms and private property in Port Dover.

Arthur goes from being frustrated to being irate in a matter of seconds, Matthew can feel his own blood pressure rising. The town of York is in his territory, and Alfred has just gone and vandalized it. On top of that, his brother has attacked _civilians_. **Ci**-**vil**-**ians**, people that weren't even part of combat and were _supposed_ to be off limits in war.

Oh, Matthew just wants to let loose a great bunch of polar bears on America and teach the arrogant idiot a lesson he wouldn't forget soon. Arthur walks back into the tent with his General, his eyes harder than diamonds; as he passes Matthew, Arthur pats his shoulder muttering, "I'll teach the bloody git a lesson, Mattimeo." He strides in the tent before Matthew can correct his name.

Matthew is furious at his brother for a good amount of time, but even he is surprised at the plan that Arthur tells him about. They are going to capture and burn Washington DC, the capitol of America- Alfred's heart- to teach the enemy country a lesson and, as Arthur puts it, "Brand the image into their non-existent brains."

The capture a week later is successful and the British carry out their orders with a vengeance. Although private buildings and unarmed citizens are spared, everything else is set fire to; Arthur and Matthew personally torch the White House and watch as orange flames lick hungrily at the building.

The army retreats out of the burning city and watch with the satisfaction of a job well done, Matthew wanders off with Arthur to find some time away from all the noise. They walk around aimlessly for a while; in doing so, both lose sight of most of the army and nearly run into the end of a deadly bayonet.

Matthew backs off automatically and looks up to lock eyes with Alfred, his brother's eyes are stone cold and murky but Matthew can make out from the slight trembling of the musket that Alfred is in agonizing pain. Upon closer examination, there's crimson liquid tracing wet, gleaming lines down the sides of Alfred's face as well, starting from the corners of his mouth and dripping off of the tip of his chin. Alfred is also unnaturally pale; his skin looks ivory in the orange glow of the dying city, but he holds his ground, staring defiantly at both Arthur and his brother. Matthew backs up a step, "This fight is over Jones, if you shoot, it will be senseless bloodshed."

Flickering blue eyes move in his direction for a split second before returning to Arthur, the honey blonde does however, start moving slowly backwards. Alfred is melting in with the shadows when he suddenly smiles, Matthew can just make out his muttered raspy words over the wind, "I think I understand the taste of defeat now, it is ashes and blood, seasoned with the bitter salt of sweat and tears."

The sky opens up in a downpour right before Alfred disappears into the shadows behind him; Arthur, who is standing a few feet away from Matthew comments softly, "This is like the Battle of Yorktown all over again."

**Goodness. Why are these chapters so depressing right now? And the next story is over the American Civil War. This is terrible…should I try to make the next chapter a little bit more amusing? Or not since it is one of the bloodiest wars in American history…ugh, I'll cross that bridge when I get there.**

**Arthur's last line is referencing how it was raining on the day of the British surrender at Yorktown.**

**Here are some tidbits of actual information:**

**For the longest time, war was considered "gentleman's business" (or something like that, I can't remember the exact wording) so civilians, mostly women and children, were supposed to be relatively safe from attack. (Of course, the stuff that sometimes happened in the armies, mostly dealing with prisoners, can hardly be called "gentlemanly"). That is why Matthew is so pissed off at Alfred when he hears about what the Americans did at Port Dover (well, not including the fact that Port Dover and York are both in Canada).**

**The burning of Washington DC, although looked down upon by a lot of the European countries, is justified by the British as revenge again what the Americans did in Canada (and I do think the British _had_ every right to be angry). However, the British were under strict orders not to touch unarmed civilians and private buildings so only public institutions were torched (some were saved). The White House and the Capitol building didn't burn down due to being made out of sandstone, but they were badly scorched. The Capitol was reconstructed from 1815 to 1819 and the White House from 1815 to 1817.**


End file.
